Posts : 1233 Join date : 2010-07-03 Age : 32 Location : In the outer rim....
Thanks y'all! I wrote this in such a hurry I'll probably redo it. I'm still working on part 2, I've got to warn you this is a huge story and this is the first time it's ever left my head, I've got long backstory's for most of the characters which I'm gonna have to post on the character bio thread. The first chapter basically deals with introducing the characters, getting them all together and them trying to get away from the Empire, which is a hard task in this part of the story. Needless to say the next part will be jumpstarting the story, the 2 main characters are about to make their explosive entrance and their goals will soon be revealed.
Posts : 1233 Join date : 2010-07-03 Age : 32 Location : In the outer rim....
Ok, I edited chapter one! One of the things I did was signify that you we're following the same imperial officer, Commander Jock, throughout this chapter. Please read it again and tell me what you think. (and please, I want honest opinions, I don't have a clue what I'm doing so if I make a mistake I want to learn from it.)
Posts : 751 Join date : 2010-07-05 Location : Felucia
The improvements you made really gave more detail and really painted a picture in your mind of what was happening. "Vassik" sounds familiar but I'm not sure about "Jock". BTW I'm working on a story if and when I finish could I post it?
Posts : 1233 Join date : 2010-07-03 Age : 32 Location : In the outer rim....
Most impressive, considering it took me couple years or so to develop this story. Amazingly I've been able to retain it all in my mind, yet I seem to forget what I did just a minute ago.
Posts : 1233 Join date : 2010-07-03 Age : 32 Location : In the outer rim....
I'm still working on part 3, I've had the story developed for quite a while but I've had to make up the dialog as I go along. Needless to say I hope I'll have it ready to post soon.