cool!posted mine(well the forward)because well chapter one is so long.plz read an thx!
Discussion Thread
+3
EVANTHETOON
BarrissOffee1297
GabbyTheJediAvenger
7 posters
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2
Re: Discussion Thread Mon Jul 26, 2010 11:45 pm
BarrissOffee1297
Very good job. I like how it's a cliff hanger.
3 Re: Discussion Thread Tue Jul 27, 2010 1:03 am
EVANTHETOON
Sounds great. It's cool how you don't really understand what is going on until the last sentence.
5 Re: Discussion Thread Tue Jul 27, 2010 3:01 am
GabbyTheJediAvenger
cool!posted ch.1 2day!hope yall like mine as much as you like his!
6 Re: Discussion Thread Tue Jul 27, 2010 8:48 am
Ben HartAttack
Admin
Thanks y'all! I wrote this in such a hurry I'll probably redo it. I'm still working on part 2, I've got to warn you this is a huge story and this is the first time it's ever left my head, I've got long backstory's for most of the characters which I'm gonna have to post on the character bio thread. The first chapter basically deals with introducing the characters, getting them all together and them trying to get away from the Empire, which is a hard task in this part of the story. Needless to say the next part will be jumpstarting the story, the 2 main characters are about to make their explosive entrance and their goals will soon be revealed.
7 Re: Discussion Thread Tue Jul 27, 2010 9:26 am
Ben HartAttack
Admin
Ok, I edited chapter one! One of the things I did was signify that you we're following the same imperial officer, Commander Jock, throughout this chapter. Please read it again and tell me what you think. (and please, I want honest opinions, I don't have a clue what I'm doing so if I make a mistake I want to learn from it.)
8 Re: Discussion Thread Tue Jul 27, 2010 1:01 pm
Ben HartAttack
Admin
BTW, Does anybody know where I got the names "Jock" and "Vassik" from?
9 Re: Discussion Thread Tue Jul 27, 2010 8:18 pm
BarrissOffee1297
The improvements you made really gave more detail and really painted a picture in your mind of what was happening. "Vassik" sounds familiar but I'm not sure about "Jock". BTW I'm working on a story if and when I finish could I post it?
10 Re: Discussion Thread Wed Jul 28, 2010 12:07 am
Ben HartAttack
Admin
You sure can, just go into Fan fiction and click "new topic " and you can post it there!
11 Re: Discussion Thread Wed Jul 28, 2010 8:27 pm
BarrissOffee1297
Yay!! I still have to put it down on paper and then edit it so it might be a while.
12 Re: Discussion Thread Wed Jul 28, 2010 8:38 pm
Ben HartAttack
Admin
I posted part 2 if you didn't notice.
13 Re: Discussion Thread Thu Jul 29, 2010 2:43 am
BarrissOffee1297
Wow this story is getting really interesting.
14 Re: Discussion Thread Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:46 am
Leia Organa
Admin
Are you going to post the next part soon? 
15 Re: Discussion Thread Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:02 am
Ben HartAttack
Admin
As soon as get it done, it may take me a couple of days.
16 Hartattack Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:22 am
EVANTHETOON
To tell you the truth, I just made up my story, That Was Short: Kithaba's Tale, as I went along.
17 Re: Discussion Thread Thu Jul 29, 2010 6:46 am
Ben HartAttack
Admin
Most impressive, considering it took me couple years or so to develop this story. Amazingly I've been able to retain it all in my mind, yet I seem to forget what I did just a minute ago.
18 Re: Discussion Thread Sun Aug 01, 2010 10:05 am
Ben HartAttack
Admin
I'm still working on part 3, I've had the story developed for quite a while but I've had to make up the dialog as I go along. Needless to say I hope I'll have it ready to post soon.
19 Re: Discussion Thread Sun Aug 08, 2010 3:30 am
Ben HartAttack
Admin
Ok, I finally made a breakthrough and I'm almost finished with part 3. I hope to have it up later on today!
22 Re: Discussion Thread Mon Aug 09, 2010 8:45 pm
BarrissOffee1297
Thi story is great!! The Jedi are really cool!! 
24 Re: Discussion Thread Tue Aug 10, 2010 6:19 am
GeneralGrievous505
Admin
Good story so far Hartattack! DEFINITELY keep on updating it!
25 Re: Discussion Thread Sat Aug 14, 2010 11:01 am
Ben HartAttack
Admin
Does anybody know where the names "Jock" and "Vassik" come from?
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